Happy Holidays! Count down the days until December 25th with these very funny kid’s Christmas jokes sent in by Boys’ Life readers. We guarantee this clean holiday humor will help you “ho ho ho” like a certain jolly old elf.
Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.
Comic by Daryll Collins
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Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great holiday jokes!
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• Folding instructions (PDF)
Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Joke submitted by Sean H., Farmington, N.M.
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife asked, “How do you know?”
“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Joke submitted by Jorgen R., Prunedale, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.
Joke submitted by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.
Laure: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
Benny: Why?
Laure: They’re into all the wrapping.
Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Joke submitted by Keith G., Forestdale, Mass.
Killian: Knock, knock.
Gary: Who’s there?
Killian: Pizza.
Gary: Pizza, who?
Killian: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!
Joke submitted by Killian L., Greensburg, Pa.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Noah: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I haven’t a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
Joke submitted by Noah B., Port Deposit, Md.
Rylan: What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
Ryan: What?
Rylan: “Baaaa humbug!”
Joke submitted by Rylan M., Milwaukee, Wisc.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: I’m stumped.
Casen: “Santa Jaws!”
Joke submitted by Casen S., Tyler, Tex.
Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.
Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Bill: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Laura: Why?
Bill: Because the present’s beneath them.
Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.
Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of everything I want!
Joke submitted by Calvin L., Orlando, Fla.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Joke submitted by Tim S., Merriam, Kan.
Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.
Joke submitted by Christopher H., Fair Oaks, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.
Joke submitted by Matthew H., Northridge, Calif.
Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
Joke submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!
Joke submitted by Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.
A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment.
Joke submitted by Justin L., Galena, Ohio
Comic by Scott Nickel
Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
Joke submitted by Suzan L. W., Spring Hill, Fla.
Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.
Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Jacob: What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jacob: Snow cones!
Joke submitted by Ashwin B., Morris Plains, N.J.
Travis: Where do polar bears vote?
Anthony: Where?
Travis: The North Poll!
Joke submitted by Travis S., Alta Loma, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
Joke submitted by Ronesha M., Allen, Tex.
Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
Joke submitted by Joe R., Saint Charles, Mo.
Comic by Thomas Toons
Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!
Joke submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.
Chance: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
Nate: Why?
Chance: Because he went down in history.
Joke submitted by Chance L., Larchmont, New York
Comic by Scott Nickel
Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
Joke submitted by Joe B., Huntersville, N.C.
Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
Joke submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Daniel: What do fish sing during winter?
Josh: What?
Daniel: Christmas corals.
Joke submitted by Daniel L., Durham, North Carolina
Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.
Comic by Scott Nickel
When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”
Joke submitted by Doug C., Gahanna, Ohio
Steve: What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Tim: Not sure.
Steve: Ornamints.
Joke submitted by Steve A., Austin, Texas
Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”
Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Joke submitted by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio
Sam: What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
Devin: Not sure.
Sam: Tinsel-itis!
Joke submitted by Sam J., Mona, Utah
Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.
Joke submitted by Trey D., Ringgold, Ga.
Pedro: What does Santa say at the start of a race?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Pedro: “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Joke submitted by Pedro the Mailburro
Comic by Daryll Collins
Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
Sam: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Pam: Why?
Sam: Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
Joke submitted by Sam P., Merrimack, N.H.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
Joke submitted by Kole N., Amherst, N.H.
Andrew: What did the pepper say on its holiday card?
Luke: I don’t know.
Andrew: “Season’s greetings.”
Joke submitted by Andrew T., Allen, Tex.
William: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?
Joke submitted by William W., Shapleigh, Me.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Pee Wee: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
Westy: I don’t know.
Pee Wee: “Your Blitzen days are over!”
Joke submitted by Nhan P., Camp Hill, Pa.
Colton: How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”
Joke submitted by Colton S., Kansas City, Kan.
Comic by Scott Nickel
DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!
Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great holiday jokes!
• Download the joke book template (PDF)
• Folding instructions (PDF)
Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.
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